Rollercoaster

And with the ups come the downs...right? I was on cloud nine when we found out we were having a boy last monday. We could not have planned it any better than that, and I am so excited.
Then Tuesday night came.
Dave recieved word he will be deploying to Iraq, March 28th, for 9 months. I was devistated. Beyond consolable. (I am sure in part due to pregnancy hormones), but mostly overwhelmed with the task ahead of me, as I send my husband of to a war zone and then care for my soon to be family of 4 busy children. It was a rough night to say the least. But I am happy to say that with time and a whole lot of prayer and thought, I am now not on the brink of tears every minute. Everyday I have a huge aray of emotions, and I am surprised by alot of them, but I am confident we can get through this, and even grow a little along the way.
We told the kids on friday night. Amanda was my big worry and I think she took the news like a tropper. She cried alot when we told her, but has since asked lots of questions, and has been talking about all the things dad will miss, and how we can keep in touch with him. She was very scared about his safety at first, but after we told her how safe he will be there, while not being unrealistic, she talks more about how she will miss him and doesn't want him to have to go. Maren is very quiet about it, but she understands. She is willing to talk one on one, usually if we bring it up first, but I think that she is dealing with it the best she knows how for now, and it will be a bit harder for her when he leaves. Of course Spencer doesn't understand yet, but I am sure he will miss his dad a ton. He has this ritual of waking us up at 6am every morning calling maamaa, daaadeee, until we get him out of bed. Then he wants to lay in our bed for just a few minutes telling us which pillow is maamaa's and which pillow is daadee's. He is also at the stage when asks for daadee all the time. That will be hard for me after Dave leaves I am sure, as it brought tears to the surface most of last week.

I feel so blessed to have been around so many strong spouses who have endured this and I have been able to observe and learn how they make it through. I honestly don't know how I would do it otherwise. And I am so grateful for both mine and Dave's very supporting family. Even though they all live very far from here, I feel so much support via there emails, phone calls, and prayers. Despite all of the hardship, I am grateful Dave will be able to serve his country, with his skills. I have become a huge historical fiction fan these days. I especially love the WWII, civil war, and revolutionary time periods. And I have learned a thing or two about how sacrifice can teach us great patience, faith, and love in this world of so much self gratification. And while I still would rather not have to see him go, I know that we will be stronger for the experience and many others will benefit from his skills, and that makes it worth all the heartache.